Arrogant.. My Error-goin' to see it **1/2

If one had never watched epic fantasies like Lord of the Rings or read really good fantasy, one might still be reasonably entertained by Eragon. It is certainly more comparable to low-brow special-effects dependent flicks that crashed like Dungeons & Dragons than anything even remotely approaching greatness. The more one thinks about it, the worse the movie becomes. It lacks the simple moral heart of Dragonheart. Its characters are sketchily-developed and possess nil credibility. Its plot is gratingly naive and self-absorbed. The more I think about what this movie (based on a novel which I believe will be as utterly crap) tries to be, the more it gets on my nerves. It is like a chao ah beng trying to acting like a classy gentleman.

Gripe 1: the title character Eragon is a pathetic egoist pretending to be conflicted by the power bestowed by his newly-discovered destiny. I simply can't stand him. And one certainly can't play soldier with your brother using sticks and suddenly become a tough and skilled warrior overnight - I know this for a fact from years of martial arts training. Utter bollocks. So obviously an immature adolescent fantasy about being the saviour of the universe and all-powerful. Oh I can't help it - I'm so strong, I'm irresistable. Urrrk! Gripe 2: it cast John Malkovich as the villainous king, and now just how many other movies have we seen that before?? I am seriously starting to lose a lot of respect for this fella. Gripe 3: this throws in all the elements that the producers thought pulled audiences to LOTR, such as having a siege, dragons and pretty elves and totally missed the point. Its presumptuous self-labelling as the next fantasy epic makes me bulimic (in other words - wanna hurl).

The only reason this horror even passed my ratings was because the special effects were decent (although perhaps this should be taken as a given in view of current technology), and Jeremy Irons was in it. He added just enough gravitas to save the movie from video hell. A pity that babes like Rachel Weisz and Sienna Guillory (who looks perfectly elvish) were totally under-utilised. Go catch this if you need a pulmonary condition.

1 Mean Boy + 3 1/2 Mean Girls = 1 Mean Movie ***1/2

There are so many uncanny similarities between JTMD and other teen flicks. Firstly, the poster bears a striking resemblance to that of 10 Things I Hate About You, which is one of my favourite teen flicks. Next the story premise is almost exactly the same as Mean Girls - new girl loses her identity in new school and becomes mean but reverts to her nice-girl persona at the end. Not that the formula of copying from proven successes doesn't work; it does, but it doesn't score high on originality for me. Faithful followers of teen flicks can fill in the rest.

A few things I did like about JTMD: one - the eye candy in the form of Arielle Kebbel and Sophia Bush although they were little more than cardboard characters; two - John Tucker's resilience and the way he was cast with a certain irresistability such that one is inevitably drawn to him; three - the modest ambition of the film in not trying to be too clever or rely on cheap dumb antics to get laughs and therefore succeeding in being very entertaining. Even it's message of being true to yourself wasn't too pushy, which I liked.

There isn't a lot that's new or breakthrough or truly refreshing about JTMD but there are a lot of genuinely entertaining moments that do not seem contrived at all. While neither Kate nor John are properly fleshed out, they rise enough above being simply caricatures or stereoypes for one to quite like them. It's not particularly memorable, but it's a good alternative to, say, catching 10 Things for like the dozenth time.

<--- Think you've seen this before?

I'm not surprised. --->

Groovy! ****

For a film snob, there may be plenty to diss about this Disney made-for-G-audiences but there is so much charm in it that I think most will be won over by its feel-good intensity. Sure, the plot is simply a vehicle for the songs, but what wonderful songs! This is, after all, a musical and not some arty film with a provoking social message. I could simply go on listening to the beautifully harmonised renditions of Start of Something New and What I've Been Looking For over and over and over (which I actually am as I write this hehe).

High School Musical, otherwise known as Grease 3 in the US, scores on many fronts for me. Foremost is the amazing chemistry between the two leads played by Zac Effron and Vannessa Anne Hudgens, which is amazing because it sizzles yet never crosses the PG line - now that's really something. Much credit must go to the gorgeous Vanessa, who can really smile with her eyes, and when she looks at you and smiles - WOW! Indescribable. Next would be the amazing supporting cast - my favourites are the drama club teacher and the prima-donna stage siblings who have such flair I never thought they didn't deserve the lead roles. Seriously, for all the soulful intensity of the singing between Troy and Gabriella, the Sharpay siblings more than make up for with great vocals of their own and wonderful showmanship.

Now I realise that something like what happened in HSM would never be possible in real-life but that's why it makes such a good movie - that's the only place where it can happen. Everyone getting together behind one another in common spirit and supporting everyone, even those who lose out giving their support - that's hardly something I believe I'll never see happen in a school. I love the mass songs and dance that remind me of Bollywood movies and 70s musicals (well, this is supposed to be a Grease sequel). I love the exciting young talent emerging from this show. I love HSM, and you'll love it too.

E23's Christmas Lesson - The Spirits of Christmas

Especially for Afina, Haniz, Ian, Isabel, Joanne, Serena, Yulenda & Yvonne - who kept going when the going got tough.

Enter Shaun and Joel.

Joel: Hey, where's everyone? Isn't there supposed to be a carolling event here?

Shaun: (looks around) Maybe we're at the wrong hospital.

Joel: I don't see anyone around at all. Do you think this place is like (whispers loudly) Old Changi Hospital? (looks worried)

Shaun: Oi! Don't talk nonsense. Anyway it's Christmas, nothing will dare come out.

Joel: But isn't Christmas when all those ghouls and witches and other horrible things come out and go from house to house and ask for children to eat?

Shaun: (rolls his eyes) No! That's Halloween! And it's the children that go from house to house.

Joel: Those ang moh children eat other children? No wonder they're so much bigger than us!

Shaun: (rolls eyes again) No! Haven't you heard of Santa Claus, or reindeer, presents under the Christmas tree, and snow? Don't you celebrate Christmas?

Joel: No, but I've heard a lot about a Christmas spirit.

Opening strains for {Winter Wonderland}.

Joel: (looks frightened) Do you hear that? Do you think that's the Christmas spirit?

They both look around and stand back to back in a frightened huddle. Snow begins to blow around them.

Carolling Ghosts:
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
In the lane snow is glistening
A wonderful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away are our sorrows
Here to stay - bright tomorrows
We sing you this song as we go along
Walking in this winter wonderland.

(medley to )
Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-ing ring-ting-tingle-ing too
Come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoohoo!
Come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you.

Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up, let's go, let's look at the show!
We're walking in a wonderland of snow!
Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up, it's grand, just holding your hand
We're gliding along with a song of a wintery fairyland!

Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy and cosy are we
We've snuggled close together as two birds of a feather would be
Let's take that road before us and sing a chorus or two
Come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you!

Music fades.

Joel: (tensely) Did you hear that?

Shaun: (equally tensely) Ya.

Joel: (breathes a sigh of relief) Ok, so it wasn't just my imagination. Did you see anyone?

Shaun: No, but I thought I saw snow falling around us.

Joel: Snow? In Singapore?

Both: (together) What's that in your hair?

They both yell and start brushing madly at their hair, then get down on their knees and pray. Strains to {Jingle Bell Rock} begins.

Carolling Ghosts:
(1) Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bell swing and jingle bells ring
Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun
Now the jingle rock has begun

(2) Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancing and prancing in jingle bell square
In the frosty air

(3) What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh, one-horse sleigh

(4) Giddy-up, jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and mingle in a jingling beat
That's the jingle bell rock!

Repeat (3), (1) and (4)

Shaun: Something strange just happened. While I was closing my eyes and praying that we won't see anything dirty, I thought I saw you dancing... with some girls.

Joel: Me dancing? No, I was on my knees praying too!

Shaun: But you never pray.

Joel: Well... ok, so I wasn't praying - it was more like thinking.

Shaun: What were you thinking?

Joel: (sheepishly) Well, I was thinking that if we were going to see something dirty, why couldn't it be a bit more like NC-16 kind of dirty...

Shaun: I knew it! You were doing dirty dancing in your head!

Joel: But how can you see what's in my head?

Shaun: I don't know how but I just saw when I closed my eyes. You don't believe me? Try thinking again and I'll tell you what you're thinking of...

Both close their eyes again. {Santa Baby} begins.

Carolling Ghosts:
Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree
For me, been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.
Santa baby, a fifty-four convertible too
Light-blue, I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you'll check off my Christmas list

Santa honey, one little thing I really do need
The deed, to a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing
A ring, I don't mean on the phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Shaun: You were thinking dirty again! You were thinking about the girls and they were all acting weird with you!

Joel: Ya, but you kept appearing in my mind and stopping me. Spoilsport!

Shaun: That's because you were going to act like a *beep*

Joel: No, I wasn't! It was just that I miss our class. I mean, today is going to be the last time we're doing something together as a class, and we've gone through so much together... There was the play we did for the school - do you remember what it was about?

Shaun: Diplomacy...

A girl in SIA sarong kebaya steps out and strikes a pose.

Joel: ... and Deterrence!

A uniformed police officer with a rifle steps out and strikes a pose.

Shaun: I played the president of Singapore in that one! (Police salutes him and he hooks his arm with the SIA girl and starts to walk away but Joel pulls him back)

Joel: Then there was the mime we did for MOE Racial Harmony Day!

A mime artist dances out and strikes a pose

Shaun: Time passes so quickly. Now it's already Christmas and all we have are memories...

{Silver Bells}

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air there's a feeling of Christmas
Children laughing, people passing
Meeting smile after smile
And on every street corner you'll hear

{chorus} Silver bells, silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas day!

Strings of street lights, even stop-lights
Blink a bright red-and-green
As the shoppers rush home with their treasures
Hear the snow crunch, see the kids bunch
This is Santa's big day
And above all this bustle you'll hear

Repeat {chorus}

Joel: Shaun, is Christmas really all about Santa and shopping and presents?

Shaun: Of course! That's why it's my favourite time of the year!

Joel: But I heard someone say that it's the season of giving.

Shaun: Ya, others give and we take!

Joel: But don't you think there might be something else we're missing?

Shaun: (thinks for a while) Hmm... I know! Christmas food! Turkey, black forest log cake and Christmas pudding!

{We Wish You a Merry Christmas}

Carolling Ghosts:
(1) We wish you a merry Christmas (x3)
And a happy New Year.
(chorus) Glad tidings we bring to you and your kin
We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

We all want some figgy pudding (x3)
And a cup of good cheer
Repeat {chorus}

We won't go until we get some (x3)
So bring it right here
Repeat {chorus}

Repeat (1)

Shaun: You know something, Joel. I really miss all the fun we had with our class. I don't understand why they didn't want to have a Christmas party together, then we can all have good Christmas food, presents and fun together just like before.

Joel: They said that it's not what Christmas is about. They said it's not about us, or getting a lot of presents - it's more than that.

Shaun: But we're like a family. Shouldn't families be together to celebrate Christmas? I feel like they fly our kite and abandoned us.

Joel: Maybe it wasn't them who ran away. After all, when they wanted to do this carolling project, we didn't really support them all the way, and if you say they're our family, maybe we should have.

Shaun: Ya, but it's our holidays and we shouldn't have to work so hard. I mean, what do we even get out of it?

Joel: They said when we understand what we get out of it, then we'll be able to see the spirits of Christmas. I wonder why they must keep talking about spirits - it makes me nervous.

Shaun: Well, it makes me mad. Where's our famous class spirit that all the teachers used to talk about? We should all be together!

{Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas}

Carolling Ghosts:
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on our troubles will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yuletide gay
From now on our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Shaun: I can't stand it anymore! Where's everyone?

Joel: They must be around somewhere... maybe they're hiding from us?

Shaun: Come out, Afina! Haniz! Ian! Isabel!

Joel: Shaun, don't shout. This is a hospital. Shh!

Shaun: I won't care about the presents or parties. I just want all of us to be together for the last time before we all go our separate ways - is that too much to ask? (sits on the ground and buries his head in his knees)

{All I Want For Christmas Is You}

Carolling Ghosts:
I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know
Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you.

I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know
Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you.

I won't ask for much this Christmas, I won't even ask for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to hear those magic reindeer click
I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know
Make my wish come true, baby, all I want for Christmas is you.

All the lights are shining so brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing, I hear those sleigh-bells ringing
Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me?

I don't want a lot for Christmas, this is all I'm asking for
I just wanna see my baby standing right outside my door
I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know
Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you.

The police, the SIA girl and mime artist go round as the song is sung and pull out everyone from E23 to go onto the stage.

Shaun: (looking up finally at the audience) It's not just about us being together, is it? Christmas is about sharing. Whether it's hard times and hard work, or good times and good things - they're all meant to be shared. When we share our troubles, they become lighter. When we give away what is precious to us, somehow what we have left becomes even more valuable. And when we have friends or family to share all these with, then Christmas really is a blessed time.

Joel: Shaun, look behind you.

Shaun: (smiles) I think we're finally looking at the spirits of Christmas who have been haunting us all this time.

Hugs all around.

Afina: This last song we want to share with everyone here is dedicated especially to the staff of KK Hospital who're on duty over the Christmas period, who are sacrificing their Christmas to care for the people here. We would also like to give out some presents we have managed to collect from well-wishers to the audience. We hope there'll be enough to go around.

{Feliz Navidad}

Everyone:
(1) Feliz Navidad, feliz navidad
Feliz navidad, prospero anio y felicidad!
Repeat (1)

We want to wish you a merry Christmas! (x3)
From the bottom of our hearts!

Repeat until all presents have been given out. Then reprise {Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas}

Everyone:
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yuletide gay
From now on our troubles will be far away.

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more

Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

The End

Not Quite The Ring ***1/2

I haven't read much of Stephen King (I can only recall reading Pet Sematary, Thinner and some other stuff) although I've watched pretty much every horror movie that's out there, including all of King's novel-to-film adaptations. This one doesn't strike me as horror at all for some reason. Perhaps I'm quite numb to the idea of zombies (telepathic or not) and need seriously gory or disturbing stuff to get freaked. Anyway the phone-crazies in this novel aren't even zombies - they're like different kinds of humans. I didn't get horrified or repelled by them at all after their initial run-amok-and-kill-everything-in-sight phase, more like pitied them and wanted to help them somehow. Probably that kind of mentality would get me killed in a horror story so I'm never getting into one.

The premise is pretty disturbing, of course, and King is a good storyteller to be able to milk so much out of a pretty simply storyline with no major complications or twists. It does not have the riveting page-turning intensity of a Crichton thriller but the characters are slightly better fleshed out and you feel more for them. This is not one of King's best so you won't miss much if you skip this one, but it's not a bad read either simply because of his narrative skills. Try his other titles if you really want a spine-chilling time.

Eat Me Eat You ***1/2

I picked this up yet again because I was browsing in Borders and saw Crichton's new book Next and was naturally intrigued, excited and digging out my wallet. However, to my frustration, they only had it in hardcover! Now the only books I have in hard cover are dictionaries, encyclopedias, my European Studies textbooks, other academic material like Shakespeare's Complete Works and Homer's The Iliad blah blah blah - my pleasure readings are all in paperback. Not that I mind paying more for the hardcover version since I really really want to read it, but it will look SO out of place next to my other Crichtons on the shelf (I have all of his fictional works, except for some I gave away or lost...)!

Anyway I didn't give it 4 stars (I think some of his other works earn that rating) because even though it was engaging and held my attention to the very end, I felt that the characterisation was a little weak. Characterisation has never really been Crichton's strong point anyway and I beleive that his many fans agree (I'm one of them) that they love him for other reasons. While I could empathise with the shock of a stay-home husband suspecting his wife of having an affair, it just doesn't stick in my head. Neither does the storyline, gripping as it is.

True to Crichton's style, the reader learns a lot about developing technology and the dangers they pose, even if from a fictive point of view. I would never consider Crichton's work science fiction because it is not as derivative and hypothetical but relies very strongly on what is already possible (hard facts) and simply extend the scenario a little bit further. This particular novel explores the possibilities and dangers of nanotechnology. It is not as complicated and littered with footnotes as other works like Jurassic Park and makes for pretty easy and enjoyable reading.

Unforgettable Autumn ****1/2

This is the umpteenth time I've reread this book - the first that launched an iconoclastic fantasy series, no, an entire new world of fantasy literature. I'm actually not much of a fan of the Dragonlance world itself, or of most of the other books in the series, but for me the Chronicles trilogy, Legends trilogy and The Legend of Huma are must-reads and my all-time fantasy favourites. I read them to my baby sister when she was still in primary school and she fell in love with the story and characters instantly (and I didn't skip the lengthy descriptions of the different places either, which I know some others who read bedtime stories to children do). I can still reread them and be overwhelmed by the magic woven into the pages.

Dragons of Autumn Twilight tells the story of the companions who would eventually become the Heroes of the Lance (some postmortem, and you'll cry with every death - and yes, the main characters DO die, unlike the invincible Frodo and his companions because Boromir doesn't count since you know he was going to die anyway). Not only do we have the standard fantasy folk like goblins, hobgoblins and elves, we get a whole menagerie of other beautifully exotic creatures like centaurs, pegasi, unicorns, giant slugs, draconians, and, of course, dragons. But the true magic lies in the skill of the characterisation - writers Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman use fantasy archetypes like the pure and innocent elven princess, the grumpy and stubborn dwarven smith, the secretive and ambitious mage, the stoic and honour-bound knight and add such idiosyncratic depth and realism to them that they will remain bound to your memory and heart forever. My favourites are the mischievous and child-like kender Tasslehoff Burrfoot and the misunderstood and tormented Raistlin.

I've often wondered why this story has never been made into a movie, and still toy with the idea of writing a screenplay for it but then I consider the enormity of the project and am justly stupefied. Not even in an extended five-hour special edition will I be able to capture the wonder and exhilaration of the many adventures, the nuances of the characters that make them so unforgettable and the tragic poignancy and horror or the misfortunes that befall the companions. Forget Lord of the Rings. Forget Harry Potter. For fantasy at its very best and magic of the highest calibre, read the Dragonlance Chronicles & Legends trilogies.

The companions from left: Sturm Brightblade (knight), Raistlin Majere (mage), Tika Waylan (barmaid), Caramon Majere (warrior), Goldmoon (barbarian priest), Tanis Half-Elven (warrior), Kitiara uth Mistan (warrior), Laurana (elven princess), Tasslehoff Burrfoot (kender thief)

The companions fighting the black dragon Khisanth at the ruined city of Xak Tsaroth.

The companions enjoying a rare and brief respite in the woods before raiding the fortress of Pax Tharkas. Behind Goldmoon (with the blue crystal staff) is Riverwind.

All Messed Up **1/2

I would say the first two stars are given for Anne Hathaway's hefty presence - one for each of her boobs, but really they aren't all that great even. In fact, I felt a little uncomfortable with the amount of gratuitous nudity in this supposed teen-flick, or maybe it was just a movie about teens starring 'teens' that's not meant to be watched by teens. Whatever.

There is a certain edgy feel to the whole movie, like something is about to burst out and happen but sadly, nothing really does. The world of bored upper-middle onwards class teenagers portrayed here is seriously messed up - they're either whacked on crack or sound like they're whacked on crack with weird fako accents, totally irrational or drawn towards committing irrationally nihilistic acts and bonking all the time at parties or trying to get bonked. Perhaps one should feel some pity for their messed-up lives, but somehow their apathy towards themselves and the world they live in is strangely contagious and I found myself not really caring either whether they kill themselves with crack or in a shootout with drug dealers.

Havoc is not an in-apt title for a sketch of the chaos these teens create and live in, but it fails to delve deeper either into the characters or the issues lightly brushed upon. It won't make much difference whether you watch it or not, and even Anne's twin assets aren't enough to make me sit through it another time.

Sucked in ***

This is the novel that introduced Dirk Pitt of Sahara fame to the world. This is the third Pitt novel I've read and also the worst. However, picking up a bad novel from a good series is like meeting up with an old friend whose bad manners and habits you've grown accustomed to. You simply overlook them and carry on.

As Clive Cussler himself admits in the introduction, this novel lacks the intricate plots of the later novels in the the Pitt series. Some other signatures I've come to expect from a Pitt novel were also not present, such as a Cussler cameo and strong but needy (as in they need Dirk Pitt) women. However that is not my main gripe. What I can't stand is the ridiculous way Cussler handles the romance in this one. When I realised that this novel was the one with Dirk Pitt's first true love in it, I had high hopes of a wonderful sizzling romance to top off the expected over-the-top action. However, other than a chance meeting between them at the beginning of the novel, Dirk and Summer did not meet again at all until the fatal climax!! How the heck did those twins pop out??? They didn't even do the dirty! How did they even fall in love??? What a disappointment.

Well, I may rant occasionally but I'd never diss an old friend outright so this rating is probably biased. Nothing in this novel matches up to the others in the series, I believe, but you gotta take the good with the bad, and I still think that Pitt's a worthy read.

Cosy Saloon ***1/2

I feel like I've read Last Chance Saloon by Marian Keyes before, although I haven't. This is a comment heavily loaded both ways. On the positive side, it scores an E - for being an Easy read, having characters who are Easy to like, and on the whole rather Engaging. However, the storyline sounds rehashed. Now that I think about it, it sounds vaguely similar to P.S. I Love You by Cecilia Ahern although that book was slightly more of a romance than this one. It's not really a biggie though, 'cos I reread ALL of my books so many times that after a while everything sounds familiar because it IS familiar.

What I like about Last Chance Saloon is short short chapters. Haha. Some are only two pages long, and so there is a faux sense of accomplishment about breezing through a chapter. What I don't like is that there are SO MANY chapters! Argh! At one point, I almost thought I was reading Proust because when I picked up the book again after one of my usual breaks, I found myself bracing as I glanced at the chapter number in almost the same manner that I usually find myself bracing when I pick up my Proust again. But only almost.

Chick lit has to cater precisely to a modern girl's diet. This one got the small portions right but its too many portions may make one give up the diet. Thankfully, the chef has enough virtuoso touches to make me pick up another Keyes' novella.